How to Avoid a Combustible Marriage

Almost 400,000 houses catch on fire every year.

And when a house catches on fire, if it’s a big one, everyone inside RUNS for the exit – a door, a window – any way to get out.

But imagine your house had NO exits. NO way out. It catches on fire. What do you?

You and your spouse do everything within your power to put out the fire. You have no other option. The fire goes out…or you both die.

This is your marriage.

Your marriage is a house. And every marriage, at some point, catches on fire. It may be a big fire, or a small one. It may just be one fire. Or you may be plagued with several over the years. But as sure as the sun comes up, it will catch on fire.

The question is: when your house catches on fire, will your house have any exits? Any doors? Any windows?

There is one big ginormous exit in the house 
called marriage: divorce. 
 If your house has the exit of divorce, when it catches on fire, 
you’ll use the exit. People do every day.
This is your marriage on fire.

If your marriage is a house with no exits (divorce) and your house is on fire, you and your spouse will work together doing everything you can do to put it out. Just like a real house with no exits. 

How to Get Rid of the Exit:


1. Don’t threaten divorce. Not in fights, not in frustration, not ever (if your spouse cheats, you have a Biblical case for divorce and you can use it – Matthew 19:9). 

2. Don’t joke about divorce. But Aggies are fair game.

3. Don’t daydream about divorce. Or unicorns. Because that’s just weird.

4. Don’t fantasize about divorce. 

This is your marriage after divorce.
Any questions?

5. Don’t talk to friends about divorcing.

6. Tell your spouse, verbally, while looking straight into his or her eyes “I will never divorce you.” 

7. Tell your kids, “I will never divorce your mother/father” (don’t be surprised if they’re shocked – many of their friends’ parents are divorced. They may just be waiting for you.).

8. Tell others, “I will never divorce my husband/wife”. 
 
 Get the idea? 

You want to close off that exit as tightly as possible. Leave yourself no wiggle room. Make it so that if you change your mind, everyone and their dog will see that you lied and you’re a hypocrite. A little shame that keeps you from doing a bad thing, is actually a great thing. Just think what a blessing a healthy dose of shame could be in the life of Miley Cyrus (or clothes, a potato sack, parents?).

Close off all the exits to this house called marriage, band together with your spouse, and fight the fires together. And ask the Lord of Marriage for the strength to live out that vow.  


Blessings.

Pastor David

2 thoughts on “How to Avoid a Combustible Marriage

  1. This post was written assuming you have two good willed people, which would represent the vast majority of married folks. Good willed people who want happily ever after, but are both sinners and can easily fall into divorce.

    On the questions – they are hard to answer in any brief manner. Abuse? Don’t hold back. Put the guy in jail. The very first time. Get a restraining order. Kick him out. Don’t let him back unless there is serious long term change. I’ve done that. Helped a lady meet with her husband (with others for support) and gave him an ultimatum – on the street or in a drug treatment program. But not back at home.

    God gives 2 grounds for divorce – abandonment (1 Cor. 7:15) or adultery (Matt. 5:31-32). So when you say “they won’t change”, I’m not sure how to answer that. Won’t quit cheating? Divorce. Won’t watch what I want on TV (people divorce over less)? Stay married.

    For full treatment of this whole subject, I’ll need to write a complete post. But for now, Matt Chandler has done a good job here – including the abuse question: http://www.thevillagechurch.net/sermon/divorce-and-remarriage/

    Like

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