Sexual Schizophrenia

So the Boy Scouts (which I love) have decided the word “boy” in their name is the negotiable part of their endeavor. The Girls Scouts of America are furious (battle for market share). Many others are too, citing this as one more example of gender-bending in our culture. Used to be, everyone (even five-year-olds!) understood that girls and boys were different, and both could benefit from same-sex role models and mentors.

But we are suffering a sexual schizophrenia.

The sexual mores of the day are schizophrenic, contradictory and irrational. Consider the following, and then I’ll tell you WHY they are that way:

This: Mike Pence is a FREAK and TALIBAN for setting boundaries with women to make sure he never pulls a Weinstein (abuses or is accused of abusing or being inappropriate with a woman).
But also this: Harvey Weinstein is HORRIBLE and AWFUL for doing the exact OPPOSITE of Pence.

This: Weinstein must be run out of Hollywood because he is the devil!
But also this: He was excellent as long as his letching was secret. His board, his company, and enough others knew about it that it made it into the script for 30 Rock, with that part written by Tina Fey. And everyone was ok with it.

This: Meryl Streep is HORRIFIED by Weinstein (although she called him “God” a few years ago at an awards ceremony.
But also this: Meryl Streep LED a standing ovation at the 2003 Academy Awards for Roman Polanski, even though everyone knows that he drugged and raped a 13-year-old girl, then fled the country. So she and Hollywood are on record as applauding a pedophile fugitive from justice.

This: Hillary Clinton on Weinstein: “I was just sick. I was shocked! I was appalled. It was something that was just…intolerable.” And to be fair, she’s echoing what many on the left are saying about Harvey Weinstein. That is excellent.
But also this: Hillary Clinton on Bill Clinton (Harvey’s twin brother from a different mother-done all the Harvey stuff): the man I call husband, my lover, icon of the Democratic Party and the best President ever (not direct quote- just an innocent assumption since their marriage has lasted so long). And to be fair, she’s echoing what many on the left are saying about Bill – “best President ever.” Conspicuously missing? The word “intolerable.”

This: The Feminist Movement: “I am woman, hear me roar! In numbers too big to ignore! Keep your hands off our bodies!”
But also this: The Feminist Movement: “Hey brother, give me some cash for my birth control pills! Pay for my abortions! I can’t pay! I’m just a woman!”

This: Hollywood and the literary world love Stephen King and have made two movies based on his book, It. Super popular. And King is praised for tweeting that the President has a “severely *** ******* mind.” Yayyy Stephen! He’s a literary genius AND he’s talking truth to power!
But also this: In King’s book, It, SIX 11-YEAR-OLD BOYS HAVE SEX WITH AN 11-YEAR-OLD GIRL to defeat the evil (all caps means I’m yelling)! And apparently, it goes on for pages! It’s fair to say King really is something of a pedophile. And apparently, child rape, sexual abuse, and sexual violence is common in King’s writings.

This: Christians are flat-earthers and anti-science.
But this: California passed a law saying there are three genders.
AND ALSO THIS: Everyone knows the number of gender is like…382. Or 63. Or 23. Depends on which of the 695 million google results you click on. Which is insane and unscientific.


This: If you BELIEVE you’re a pirate, want your eye gouged out so you can wear a patch, want your leg amputated so you can wear a peg leg, AND 50% people with your condition attempt suicide, everyone agrees you have a mental disorder. Even in today’s PC culture, you’d be called crazy. Sympathy worthy. But still crazy.
But this: If you’re a man and BELIEVE you’re a woman, AND 50% of the people with your condition attempt suicide, real doctors – not mad scientists will happily amputate the male part of your body and pump you so full of hormones no one will ever accuse you of being “hormone free” or “NON-GMO” or “organic.”
AND ALSO THIS: People will be outraged that you can’t compete against women in sports. Or serve in the military. And people will demand the military pay for your amputation.


The list of conflicting and irrational beliefs about sexuality and sexual morality is never-ending. But the question that screams to be answered (at least in my head) is:


Simple. We have an enemy. And Jesus said he seeks to, “steal, kill, and destroy.” And he loves to use sex to do all three. Why does he use sex?


Not everyone finds some form of murder enjoyable. Not everyone finds some form of lying tempting. Not everyone finds cursing God, rebelling against parents or stealing desirable. So Satan’s reach on those things is somewhat limited.

BUT EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON…had their start as the result of a man and a woman (no other genders involved) engaging in sex (invitro is still the joining together male/female genetic material). It’s 100% universal! And God designed it to be awesome, to cause a man to “leave father and mother and cleave to his wife” in a physical and spiritual union called “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:15). There’s no other relationship on the planet like it. And it’s excellent.

So just like hacking a program which is in every computer, Satan can hack into the God-designed sexuality that is part of EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON, and wreak horrific havoc on…anyone.

Women and children carry the carry the brunt of the physical, emotional and economic destruction. I’ve never heard of a female Bill Clinton or Harvey Weinstein. 99% of rapists are men (important-only a small percentage of men commit rape so don’t fear all men. But it’s almost exclusively a male club). Vast majority of pedophiles? Men. When men become predators instead of protectors, they inflict much more damage to women and children than vice versa.

But men are destroyed too. Satan leverages them so that they give their most productive selves to wicked evil like predation, trafficking, pornography, adultery, pedophilia and slowly die in dissipation.

The Answer

There’s only one answer, which drives most crazy. The only solution that fixes everything? Embrace God’s design for sexuality. 100%. And like abstinence before marriage, it works every time it’s tried. Here it is:

Celibacy (meaning singleness and abstinence).

Or one man plus one woman, in marriage, for a lifetime.

Giving themselves entirely to each other. And giving themselves to no one else – not physically, emotionally, not spiritually. Not abusively, not violently, not in power plays, not in any way.

That’s the design. It’s bad (but accurate) math, because One plus One equals One flesh. And it works beautifully. It fulfills wonderfully. It protects innocence, love, men, women, children, and society. It protects the innocent and defends the defenseless.

God’s design won’t be embraced by society any time soon – and everyone struggles with it. But just remember if every man and women did it, there would be no Weinsteins, no battered and abused women. No broken families.

So protect your sexuality. Give it to God. And refuse to be part of the craziness.



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Mike Pence = Taliban

Washington DC is #1!  Washington DC is #1!

#1 for what David?

Ok – I exaggerated. DC is #4. DC is in fourth place in the US regarding Ashley Madison cheaters, with 50,000 members looking to discreetly commit adultery (the website connects married folks who want to cheat).

But Mike Pence is the freak.

An article came out in the Washington Post about the Vice Presidents’ wife. The article revealed how disturbingly deviant Mike Pence really is. He said (HIDE THE CHILDREN’S EYES – IT’S HORRIFYING!):

He doesn’t dine alone with a woman other than his wife.

Some people got the vapors over this. Here are a few choice tweets:

  • I wonder what happened that led to these rules?
  • Sounds like someone who knows he has no self-control.
  • God spare us the Jesus freaks.
  • Would love to see what’s hiding inside Pence’s closet.
  • He is extremely creepy. Just makes my flesh crawl.
  • American Taliban.

    If this causes you to hyperventilate, you a) never saw the full Little Rascals episode (the boys realize the error of their ways) and, b) take yourself way too seriously. This is hilarious!

The consensus of the left is that Mike Pence (and every Christian) is part of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

In response to all of that craziness, here is a great tweet:

“Bill Clinton never dines alone with his wife. Who’s REALLY crazy?”

I know I know. So unkind. But the truth of our day is that for many, a serial adulterer is a hero and the man who sets boundaries for himself is the freak (and he just said dining alone with a woman so spare me the histrionics about not meeting with women – he didn’t say that).

But guess what? 

Billy Graham has a similar rule. No one has ever accused him of being a member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club OR of having an affair.

Cal Thomas said years ago, “The Puritans may have had some problems. But AIDS was not one of them.”

Rick Warren has been preaching this for years. From his 10 Commandments to Help Staff Maintain Moral Purity, the first two (which don’t apply to singles) are:

  1. Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex.
  2. Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you.

“Too much purity!” Not our problem today.
“Not enough adultery!” No one is claiming this is our problem.
“We need more divorces!” said no one ever (divorce lawyers excluded).

Here’s my thought: In a career and town that is known for cheaters (Clinton, Weiner, Gingrich, even Petraeus) Mike Pence is wise to set boundaries to protect his marriage, and every man and woman should set their own similar boundaries so they can keep that marriage that God gave them! In other words, don’t be an idiot!

In marriage, you’ve got a GREAT thing! What’s so great about it you ask? Just this:  Genesis 2:24 (love this) says  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

One flesh. That is great news if you’re like me. I married waaaaay above my station! And because my wife and I are “one flesh” – on the day we were married, I instantly became a much, much better person because I’m part her.  Yay me!

And marriage is such a great gift that God wants you to pull a “Mike Pence” and do whatever is necessary to protect it. 

In the NIV, Genesis 2:24 says a man should be united to his wife. “Be united” is so tame and sounds wussified to me (wussified? see definition here – it’s really good!). It doesn’t suit the need of the day. King James says “cleave,” which is a better action word, but no one today knows what it means since it’s a 16th-century word. The ESV says, “hold fast.” That’s an action word.

Hold fast to that marriage. 

Brings to mind a picture of an angry sea that is rocking and a rollin’ and the ship is about to capsize. The captain lashes himself to the ship’s wheel, so he can’t be thrown overboard. He’s holding fast to the ship’s wheel. If the ship goes down, so does he (I have no knowledge of sailing ships – I just made this up – but it is a good picture of the verse).

What God intends in Genesis 2 and what we need today are people who leave mom and dad and everything else that might get in the way and hold onto that marriage like grim death!

Actual photo of Grim Reaper. Snapped it with my Iphone and ran like the wind!

“Hold on like grim death” = to hold tightly to something, despite great difficulty.

Genesis 2:24  ESV    Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

What Billy Graham and Rick Warren and Mike Pence know, is one of the best ways to hold fast to a marriage, is to make sure you don’t ever put yourself in a compromising position. Almost nobody ever says, “When I get married I want to commit adultery.” Yet somehow, millions commit adultery every day. 

Why? Because it’s MUCH easier to cheat than to celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary.

So hold fast to your husband or your wife! Not in some weird/controlling/stalker/creeper/abusive kind of way. That’s just crazy. But hold fast through the hard times and tempting times with an understanding of the weaknesses and frailty of all men and women and do whatever is necessary to protect that great gift of oneness. And never apologize for that.

And if you’ve already blown it? Repent, stop it, reject the sin, and move forward with Jesus.

American Taliban indeed. Oh geez.

Amen and amen.


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How to Avoid a Combustible Marriage

Almost 400,000 houses catch on fire every year.

And when a house catches on fire, if it’s a big one, everyone inside RUNS for the exit – a door, a window – any way to get out.

But imagine your house had NO exits. NO way out. It catches on fire. What do you?

You and your spouse do everything within your power to put out the fire. You have no other option. The fire goes out…or you both die.

This is your marriage.

Your marriage is a house. And every marriage, at some point, catches on fire. It may be a big fire, or a small one. It may just be one fire. Or you may be plagued with several over the years. But as sure as the sun comes up, it will catch on fire.

The question is: when your house catches on fire, will your house have any exits? Any doors? Any windows?

There is one big ginormous exit in the house 
called marriage: divorce. 
 If your house has the exit of divorce, when it catches on fire, 
you’ll use the exit. People do every day.
This is your marriage on fire.

If your marriage is a house with no exits (divorce) and your house is on fire, you and your spouse will work together doing everything you can do to put it out. Just like a real house with no exits. 

How to Get Rid of the Exit:

1. Don’t threaten divorce. Not in fights, not in frustration, not ever (if your spouse cheats, you have a Biblical case for divorce and you can use it – Matthew 19:9). 

2. Don’t joke about divorce. But Aggies are fair game.

3. Don’t daydream about divorce. Or unicorns. Because that’s just weird.

4. Don’t fantasize about divorce. 

This is your marriage after divorce.
Any questions?

5. Don’t talk to friends about divorcing.

6. Tell your spouse, verbally, while looking straight into his or her eyes “I will never divorce you.” 

7. Tell your kids, “I will never divorce your mother/father” (don’t be surprised if they’re shocked – many of their friends’ parents are divorced. They may just be waiting for you.).

8. Tell others, “I will never divorce my husband/wife”. 
 Get the idea? 

You want to close off that exit as tightly as possible. Leave yourself no wiggle room. Make it so that if you change your mind, everyone and their dog will see that you lied and you’re a hypocrite. A little shame that keeps you from doing a bad thing, is actually a great thing. Just think what a blessing a healthy dose of shame could be in the life of Miley Cyrus (or clothes, a potato sack, parents?).

Close off all the exits to this house called marriage, band together with your spouse, and fight the fires together. And ask the Lord of Marriage for the strength to live out that vow.  


Pastor David

10 Little Known Ways to Protect Your Marriage

So I just heard of another minister – leaving the ministry because of moral failure.

“I’m shocked! A Hollywood type
has moral failure! I never
saw that coming!”

It’s not surprising when it’s a politician. I mean are you REALLY surprised when the news comes on and Anthony Weiner is still acting badly? I’ve always liked Simon Cowell as a TV personality – he seems to know his job and shoots straight. He had an affair with another man’s wife. Do you find yourself thinking “I’m shocked beyond belief! I thought the man was a saint!” If you do, please send $10,000 to me, and I promise, all your dreams will come true. I guarantee it!*

*Joking. Keep your money – you’ll need it for all the “As Seen On TV” items and genuine Sea Monkeys.

It is surprising when a minister of the Gospel falls. Because they are the good guys, right? They’re supposed to be, as 1 Timothy 3:2 says, “above reproach.” Blameless.

But…they are human. And I don’t think most entered the ministry with the thought in their mind “I’m gonna wreck my marriage, my kids, and have an affair.” In most cases, it’s a long series of fuzzy lines crossed again and again, until that bold line of adultery is crossed. And it’s the same for those not in the ministry.

With that in mind, years ago, Billy Graham drew some clear, bold lines in his ministry, to insure that he would

Put a bold, clear boundary
like this around your marriage.

always be “blameless” when it comes to male/female relationships outside of his own family. And it worked. He’s never been accused of any moral failure during his 60 or so year ministry.

Not that many years ago, Rick Warren came up with 10 Commandments for Moral Purity at his church in California. I say in the title “little known” because I’ve not heard these kinds of boundaries discussed much. At Fort Bend Fellowship, we’ve adopted these as a staff and I would commend them to you. I realize you can’t always control your corporate environment, but I would encourage you to do what you can.

FBF’s 10 Commandments for Maintaining Moral Purity

1. Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex. “Oh David, you’re a prude!” Funny. Divorce rate is at 41%, almost half the death rate (still hovering at 100% – everyone dies). Maybe I’m just being cautious. Or maybe Billy Graham was being a prude. If so, I’m OK with following his example.

      2. Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you.

        Real angels? I think not.
        But Hummel begs to differ.

        3. Thou shalt not kiss any attender of the opposite sex or show affection that could be questioned. (this one makes me laugh – really? You have to say this? Then I think about all the folks I’ve known in 20 years of ministry. Yes – sadly you have to say this – to the middle aged man that always kisses the 20 something hottie on the cheek at church and says “we just love their family”. Yes. I’m sure you do. Now cut it out.)

          4. Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home.

          5. Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office, and thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex more than once without the spouse’s knowledge. Refer them.

          6. Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling. Refer them.

          7. Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with an attender of the opposite sex.

          8. Thou shalt be careful in answering emails, texts, cards, or letters from the opposite sex.

          9. Thou shalt make your secretary your protective ally.

          10. Thou shalt pray for the integrity of other staff members.

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